Seems the town of Ashton has a spot…their plumbing is gummed up and emitting infamous, stank odors…perhaps you’re thinking they’re got too grand red meat in their diet and saddled with those lousy low-flow toilets…and you might be legal, but that’s not the cause of their woes. No, their anxiety stems from an amassing army of terrifying, ginormous, voracious, mutated, carnivorous, slimy, sewer residence, gastropod mollusks, otherwise known as slugs…Slugs: The Movie (1987) aka Slugs, muerte viscosa, co-written and directed by Juan Piquer Simón (Monster Island, The Pod People), features Michael Garfield (The Warriors), Santiago Álvarez (Star Knight), Philip MacHale (”Madigan Men”), Alicia Moro (Golden Balls), Emilio Linder (Amazons in the Temple of Gold), Concha Cuetos (”Onassis: The Richest Man in the World”), and John Battaglia (Mutant Man) .
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The film begins the killing speedy, as a couple in a boat procure kakked, followed rapid by a bum, into two, seemingly unrelated sequences (actually, the entire movie is filled with seemingly unrelated sequences) . Anyway, the police glean the bum, or what’s left of him, along with a whole mess of slime trails. Seems reports are coming into both Mike Brady (Garfield), the city health inspector, and Don Palmer (MacHale), a sanitation and sewer engineer (i.e. sewer worker) about clogged drains and inappropriate smells. Soon sizable slugs initiate turning up in gardens, toilets, sinks, basements, and what have you…the irascible, miniature things are everywhere, and they’re hungry…for meat, of the human kind. Quite a few people net nibbled up before anyone realizes what’s going on, and even then people are reluctant to gain. After some investigation, Don uncovers some pertinent information about what’s buried on the outskirts of town, something that may be linked to what’s going down. Wasting no time, Mike and Don hook up with an effeminate teacher/scientist, design plans to score the source and attach an kill to the nightmare, even if it means destroying the town to do so…its all out war as our three, gallant heroes try to keep the day (and themselves) from the oozing terror that is…the slugs!
Well I assure you what, this was probably one of the more disgusting films I’ve seen in awhile… slugs in and of themselves are beautiful icky, but throw on top of that some really visceral, bloody, disagreeable out death sequences and you’ve got yourself a completely execrable bit of work here. I did have initial misgivings about the film primarily because of director Simón’s earlier film The Pod People (1983), a film so terrible that the gang at Mystery Science Theater 3000 could barely acquire it watchable (it was featured on one of the episodes), but this movie was actually delicious, if you can stand the gratuitous gore. The narrative is awkward at best, as it’s continually lurching and stumbling about like a boozehound, offering up stoopid characters I contemplate we were supposed to care about, but really didn’t, along with others who seemed principal, but really weren’t…turns out they’re usually fodder for the slugs, and there ain’t nothing outrageous with that. There may not be powerful tying all the aspects of the epic together, but Simón keeps things exciting at a tantalizing lumber. The acting is generally lousy throughout, but at least it was terrible in the sense one could devour it if one thrives on that kind of thing. The only character I found remotely keen was Sheriff Reece, played by John Battaglia, only so because he was a fairly enraged a-hole most of the time and provided most of the unintentional humor…one of my celebrated scenes, one that also exhibits the horrible dialog littered throughout the film, has the Sheriff Reece and a deputy investigating the recently deceased, economically challenged man (i.e. the bum), who got his early on…the deputy is busy photographing the scene, and the sheriff tells him “I want pictures of everything, understand? “, to which the deputy replies, “Certain Sheriff.”, followed by the sheriff yelling “Don’t definite sheriff me unless you know your obvious!” Say that a few times out loud and search for how natural it sounds. Here’s another bit…as Don is leaving to go with Mike to derive the nest in the sewers, he says to his wife “I’ll express you what…when I do derive assist, how about we come by nekkid and obtain crazy.” Oh bruther…urge home, Romeo…his delivery was hardly convincing as the actress playing his wife looked like the serve slay of an terrifying dog…and about 20 years his character’s senior. Mike’s wife (played by Kim Terry), on the other hand, was dazzling hot, especially in the scene where she was wearing that slinky, dark lingerie…what was really amusing is the during scenes featuring these two, you’ll observe the actress playing Kim grimace occasionally as the actor playing Mike delivers his lines…you might assume she’s doing it because of the slugs, but she’s really doing it because the guy playing Mike is about the worst actor in this film, and that’s saying a lot. Despite these weaknesses, the film does feature some suited production values, and, as I said earlier, some over the top, hideous death scenes with a whole lot of blood…not my usually my cup of gristle, but I can devour the work that went into the special effects. There were two outrageously horrid scenes that stood out, one in a restaurant, and another featuring a young couple bumping uglies in the girl’s parent’s bedroom, so if you’ve a dilapidated stomach, end away. The structure of the chronicle might be a mess and elephantine of annoying characters, but ending is definitely worth hanging around for as it’s satisfyingly bursting with flame broiled goodness…my only wish was the two main characters in the final sequence had traded places. If you’re eager, there is some decent nekkidness in here, at least one scene, and it didn’t feature the actress playing Don’s wife, thank heavens…
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The widescreen (1.85:1) anamorphic print on this Anchor Bay Entertainment DVD release looks very racy and elegant, and the Dolby Digital 2.0 audio comes through clearly. There’s not powerful in terms of special features, except for an unique trailer for the film and liner notes by Michael Felsher in a booklet insert, the camouflage featuring a 5X7 reproduction of fresh poster art for the film. If you’re keen in buying this DVD, I’d suggest doing what I did and buying the Anchor Bay DVD Scare Pack: Man’s Worst Friends, which features six films including Parasite (1982), Lucio Fulci’s The Sad Cat (1989), Slugs: The Movie (1988), Bruno Mattei’s Rats: Night of Panic (1984), Zoltan, Hound of Dracula (1978), and Dario Argento’s The Cat o’ Nine Tails (1971) . It’s available here on the Amazon website, at a really expedient heed, and cheaper than buying the individual releases.
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If I learned anything from this film it is always to check to produce obvious the anchovies on my salad are actually that, anchovies…and something else…musical scoring purloined from forgetable television police dramas from the 1970s is not appropriate for a awe film…
So, that’s kind of how this film plays. It is so mind boggling abominable that you are left speechless or laughing at its ineptitude. I suspect this is what Ed Wood may have approach up with had he been given this inexplicably big a budget. The fact that this film even got made is an absolute miracle. It is so terrible that I almost suspect it was made badly on purpose. However, this is a aesthetic example of the “Poor = Apt” equation we so rarely stumble into. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should rush out and purchase this. To glance if you qualify for this movie I’ll atomize down what is already quite broken.
-SWEET MOTHER OF MULLETS!!
Is there any doubt what era this movie originated from when 80% of the actors have mullets and a third of them are women? Yea, I’m exaggerating objective a runt, but rest assured; this is one classy movie! With all business in the front and a party in the aid, there is no doubt this is a 1980s snack! I hear it’s a exiguous salty though.
-THIS SKY-BLUE K-CAR STATIONWAGON ROCKS!
My first unusual car was a 1985 gunmetal blue Reliant-K. I drove it for 16 years until the battery died. I couldn’t discover investing in a recent battery when the car was practically worthless. I gave it to Charity (it serene ran) . In those 16 years, never did a dramatic soundtrack ever crash out when I tooled around town. By the demolish of this movie, I was busting out in laughter every time the lead character would hurry into a scene with this crazy dramatic music and his K-car. You must eye to own.
-REQUISITE NUDY SCENE WITH LOTS OF TEASERS.
Never did a movie beg for nudity more than this daring laugher. The movie starts out very promising; a hot babe on a boat who wants to go skinny dipping with some guy who’s TOO BUSY FISHING?! Of course, as soon as she’s about to strip the guy gets himself all chewed up by some slugs; DANG!! As the film meanders on, we discover plenty of horny, middling 80s women who can’t derive their men to ravage them. They wear all sorts of loose bathrobes and such but none of them advance off. What kind of a classy, 1980s fright movie is this?! Well finally we win a 10 second sex scene between Mr. porno-mullet and horny, “parents aren’t home”, bipolar daughter. Runt is left to the imagination here (or anywhere else in the movie) and we accept to notice plenty. Heck, there’s even some beefcake for the ladies compliments of Mr. porno-mullet. But you know what happens to waggish children in awe movies don’t you?
-THIS HAM HAS A FIST THE SIZE OF MY HEAD!!
“Slugs” might be the finest example of ham-handed gore you will ever contemplate. I felt like the director was going to have a PE if he didn’t secure to do his gore scenes; “OK, that’s enough shots of the K-car, LETS DO ANOTHER GORE SHOT!!!” Well, the Director’s sure spastic teenage savor for gore appears as such. But I must admit, it was so ridiculously timed and executed that I couldn’t serve but giggle with glee! We collect more inexplicable spewage than you could imagine. When I finally stopped laughing, all I could consider was; “WTF was that all about? ”
-BOOM!!! HEH, HEH, HEH!!! BOOOOMM!!
The entire movie was really filmed on a shoestring so all the money could be veteran for gore and explosions. We catch a lot of Content in “Slugs”. The best allotment of this is why the explosions happen. The script in this film actually acknowledges the stupidity of the explosions, yet explosions will not be denied. These are some big Hollywood fireballs too. You’d be amazed how many explosive are kept in a greenhouse. This might be the one thing that makes me suspect intentional sabotage of this film for comedic purposes.
-I DON’T HAVE A Dilemma WITH DUBBING, BUT…
Some of the most horrendous dubbing you could ever imagine takes residence in “Slugs”. You might ask at this point; EK, I view this was an American film? ” and you would be apt. But when your actors are stoned out of their minds and can’t issue, what are you gonna do? Of course, that’s mean speculation on my fragment. However, when you peek a scene with mostly close-ups, dubbed worse than any Asian film, you will be forced to intention your enjoy conclusions. I have to say, I laughed my (expletive) off!
-WHAT ABOUT THOSE SLUGS EK?
The slugs in “Slugs” might be the one thing that impressed me the most. First: I’ve never seen such ample slugs in my life, and they are steady slugs. Second: I’ve never seen so many giant slugs in my life; hats of to the slug wranglers. As impressed with the scale and numbers of these buggers, I could never figure out how they filled a room so hastily when they always moved “at a snails streak”. The best piece is when an right animatronics slug is used; don’t go breaking the budget fellas!
-ACTORS (AS IF WE CARE) .
Do you really want me to name these people? That’s what IMDB is for. But I have to say, these people did an admirable job considering they had to know this movie was going to blow chunks. Yet, they all were proper troopers, rolling around in those slugs and getting all messed up in slop. There was a superb hint of sincerity in our heroes, Mr. K-car and his buddy, Joe Plumber (Tee hee!) . “Slugs” actually had a sizable cast of character that was mostly meaningless to the plot; wait… …what position? Anyway, some characters added to the body count while others provided people to do the screaming at the carnage. They all withhold the goofy mood going for positive.
-IF ONLY THEY HAD ABBA.
Having Abba do the soundtrack of a anxiety movie might have been funnier than this, maybe. Obviously I opinion the musical track was comical beyond the K-car theme song. I’ve heard of stock footage, but is there such a thing as “Stock Music”? I contemplate that’s what we have here. I’m distinct somebody could encourage me out with that one. Regardless, it was appropriately injurious in fitting with the rest of the aspects of “Slugs”.
-THE WORST FILM I’D EVER RECOMMEND.
Make no mistake; this is an bad movie. If its intentions were to be the best “so abominable its honorable” film then it would be pure genius only to be rivaled by Ed Wood himself (who did it by mistake) . I have to fill the Director had “abominable” on the mind when he made this. All I can say is that the final affect is successful at making me laugh about 20 times throughout the movie. Whether this was the desired outcome matters not. My recommendation to you is this; rent “Slugs”, order some pizza, invite over a couple of stop friends (have them bring some beverages) and have your maintain MST3000 party. I’m not the first to allude to the belief, but “slugs” is ripe for sizable mockery and hilarity.
Story…… Huh? Oh…2 Stars
Acting…..2.5 Stars
Gordity…3 Stars
Music……1 Star
Boom……3 stars
Film Average…2.3 Stars Laughs….4 Stars
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