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One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Having said that, “The Unlit Six” (a joke gift from a goofy friend), is fully exquisite.
It looks like it was shot in a couple of days using bits and pieces of discarded scripts that had been haphazardly glued together.
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The best allotment is watching these football legends (and they are legends, 4 of them are in the Hall of Fame) act.
Of particular interest is the hilarious device that Lem Barney uses to quell his opponents. Lem (who I don’t believe had one line in the movie) practices a type of martial arts that can be described as “Statue Fu”) .
He leans forward and places his foot on the chest of an opponent. That’s it, and that seems to be enough to immobilize the opponent.
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Other tall poor scenes abound.
Of particular interest for Football fans is watching Carl eller in scenes where he is shirtless. Eller was considered a gigantic man at the time and at 6′ 4″ and about 250, he is an impressive specimen. But 30 years later, there are wide receivers with those measurements. He would be about 80 pounds too light to effect it in today’s NFL.
Maybe the “Dim 6″ should have been chasing steroid dealers instead of southern racists.
Wonder if it’s too unhurried for a sequel?
Football players don’t always design astronomical thespians, but sometimes players will try their hand at the stout cloak. In 1974, six of the biggest stars of the NFL appeared in “The Dim 6.” San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Gene Washington stars as Bubba Daniels, a Vietnam former home from his tour of duty, making up for lost time with his five closest friends from the Army. They are Jr. Bro Williams (Carl Eller), Bookie Garrett (Mercury Morris), Frenchy LaBoise (Lem Barney), Tommy Bunka (Willie Lanier), and Kevin Washington (Joe Greene) . One day, after completing some work on a farm with his buddies, Bubba checks his general delivery box, and learns that his brother Eddie (Robert Howard) has been killed. Moose King (John Isenberger), the leader of a motorcycle gang in Bubba’s home town, killed Eddie because Eddie became interested with Moose’s sister, Jenny (Cynthia Daly) .
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Bubba comes home to earn answers and justice. The police and most of the locals know that the motorcycle gang had some involvement, but nobody’s willing to challenge the gang’s alibi that they were out of town when Eddie died. The only people who are willing to abet are an traditional barfly and Ceal (Rosalind Miles), Bubba’s outmoded girlfriend who started turning tricks when Bubba didn’t arrive straight home from the service. With their support, Bubba goes to the biker bar where Moose and his gang frequent, and Jenny works as a waitress. Bubba and Moose nearly determine the accumulate in the bar, but the police rupture up the confrontation and explain everyone to leave unless they want to salvage arrested. That gives Moose time to meet with Thor (Ben Davidson), the leader of another local motorcycle gang, for befriend in dealing with Bubba on a permanent basis. Bubba’s friends, concerned for their friend’s safety, advance to town to provide muscle for Bubba. Thus, the stage is station for the predictable showdown between the gangs and the Sunless 6, with equally predictable results.
First, let me give you the dreadful news about “The Murky 6.” There isn’t a single credible performance in this movie. In addition to The Sunless 6, Moose, and Thor, several other pro football players and baseball vast Maury Wills produce equally thankless appearances. Neither writer George Theakos nor director Matt Cimber try to give any dimension to any character besides Bubba. The music by David Moskoe is a abominable imitation of Curtis Mayfield’s “Superfly” collect. The title song says the guys don’t explore for pains, yet it also says they like “ladies, bikes, and fighting.” That confusion never ends. The climactic fight scene is horribly lit, making it impossible to distinguish the wonderful guys from the terrible. When Moose’s gang is killed by The Dim 6, Thor’s gang decides to burn them to death with road flares. The Dark 6 throw them relieve with hits that cause bikers to burn, and their bikes to explode. The rest of the bikers rep wiped out when their attempt to play kamikaze fails.
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Now here’s even worse news about the film. It’s as dismissive of dim people as it is of whites. Most blacks are dismissed as drunks, gamblers, and hustlers, and most whites are dismissed as hateful of non-whites. The more “The Dim 6″ dwelled on these traits, the more vile I found the film. Thankfully, I only had to endure this filth for only about 85 minutes. The only thing that trumps the ineptitude of the film in general is its misguided, misanthropic conception of human beings. I had crude expectations for this DVD, but I don’t want my $4 curiosity investment to originate me feel as repulsed as this movie did. The movie ends with this ominous warning: “Hassle a brother…and the Dismal 6 will return.”
“The Dim 6″ makes Fred Williamson films scrutinize like high art in comparison - and both cost the same label. “The Dusky 6″ is one of the worst movie experiences I’ve ever had. Avoid this film, even at its cost. Nothing favorable will approach of viewing it. This isn’t fair blaxploitation. This is total exploitation. Shame on the filmmakers.
Originally published on Epinions.com.
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